Ultra-Rare Tier: “Holy Relics of the Flying One” (42 items)
The NFT’s in this tier aren’t your average JPEGs; they’re a visual representation of the most holy elements from The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
From the beer volcano to the stripper factory, every NFT in this collection is a piece of saucy enlightenment. For the smooth-brained skeptics, we’ve included references to GoFSM for “educational purposes”—because FSM knows your dumb ass needs all the help it can get.
These NFTs are not just collector’s items—they’re mandatory for any true sheep of FSM’s flock. And FSM rewards His most devoted sheep handsomely. Want more details? Stop doom scrolling and check the early adopter program before you miss out. Only the boldest apes and the most degenerate believers can truly appreciate what the Ultra-Rare Collection represents. Own one, and you’re no longer a follower—you’re a minister of the sacred sauce. rAmen.
In the Beginning, There Was Sauce
#9
From chaos to cosmos, the FSM spun His noodly appendages to craft the universe. Truly the most based and ofcourse logical origin story. GoFSM p.51.
The Divine Muskifestation
#10
Chosen by FSM, worshiped by simps, untouchable by the SEC—Elon lifts the sacred Doge, a beacon of hope for degens worldwide. The prophecy is in motion. rAmen!
The Most Holy Colander
#11
A colander: not just a kitchen tool, but a symbol of holiness and faith, a crown of the faithful, channeling FSM’s noodly power to those who embrace the truth.
Holy Meatballs
#12
Ultra-rare meatballs, a divine symbol of Pastafarianism, blessed by FSM. Partake in the holy communion of pasta, sauce and meatballs. GoFSM p.37
Eternal Brews in the Afterlife
#13
Drink from the sacred suds of the Beer Volcano located in heaven. A true Pastafarian holy grail. GoFSM p. 70
The Sacred Pasta Tree
#14
Noodles from nature: the FSM’s divine orchard. The worst nightmare for your obese heart, but heaven for your soul. GoFSM p. 136
Pastafarian Heaven: Pure Joy Awaits
#15
Pastafarian heaven: a paradise for true believers and non-sinners, complete with an endless beer volcano, a stripper factory, and hitting it raw, without worrying about STD’s. GoFSM p. 95
The 9th circle of Hell
#16
Welcome to the 9th circle of Pastafarian Hell: the beer volcano is a piss puddle, the strippers are vile, and just glancing gets you multi-drug-resistant gonorrhea!
FSM’s Suggestion №1 for Not Being a Dick
#17
I’d really rather you didn’t act like a sanctimonious, holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don’t believe in me, that’s okay. Really, I’m not that vain. Besides, this isn’t about them, so don’t change the subject.
FSM’s Suggestion №2 for Not Being a Dick
#18
I’d really rather you didn’t use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don’t require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people.
FSM’s Suggestion №3 for Not Being a Dick
#19
I’d really rather you didn’t judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, okay? Oh, and get this in your thick heads: woman = person. Man = person. Samey-samey. One is not better than the other, unless we’re talking about fashion, and I’m sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia.
FSM’s Suggestion №4 for Not Being a Dick
#20
I’d really rather you didn’t indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age and mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is go fuck yourself, unless they find that offensive, in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change.
FSM’s Suggestion №5 for Not Being a Dick
#21
I’d really rather you didn’t challenge the bigoted, misogynist, hateful ideas of others on an empty stomach.eat, then go after the bitches.
FSM’s Suggestion №6 for Not Being a Dick
#22
I’d really rather you didn’t build multimillion-dollar churches/temples/mosques/shrines to my noodly goodness when the money could be better spent (take your pick):
A) Ending poverty; B) Curing diseases; C) Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable
FSM’s Suggestion №7 for Not Being a Dick
#23
I’d really rather you didn’t go around telling people I talk to you. You’re not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love your fellow man. Can’t you take a hint?
FSM’s Suggestion №8 for Not Being a Dick
#24
I’d really rather you didn’t do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of leather/lubricant/Las Vegas. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a condom! Honestly, it’s a piece of rubber. If I didn’t want it to feel good when you did it, I would have added spikes, or something.
